SEXUALITY, REJECTION, & SELF-RESPECT

Another morning ...

'Hello, how are you?'

Simple, seemingly friendly words of greeting. Four little words packed with oh so much power behind them. For it is not the words alone but the masked men who say them. These men seem a whole lot like me at first glance, and we do, indeed have some things in common. It is what brought us to each other, yet it is our slight differences that will pull us apart. Not my wishes at all. This is not something spoken but, rather, a thing that lies in the darkness underneath.

I remain the outsider, as I will not submit to the ways of the others. My heart longs to be welcomed, my ego, to be accepted and praised, maybe just once, from a place of sincerity. But I do not surrender. Somehow, I refuse to conform and walk the very fine line, do the high wire dance that they do. My radiant imagination is best served for more positive excursions. The dark side is a place I only ever purposely visit in short stints, and ONLY with another, if I KNOW I can truly trust them. I shall not give myself to someone lightly, and when/if I do proffer my heart and soul, I shall not let go of my sanity for someone else's whimsy - not for a moment, not for a second.

Only for LOVE, for REAL TRUE LOVE might I seriously mix mind-games with intimacy. Hello!

How are you? Are you okay? Did you really spend the night in, yesterday evening, or did you expose yourself ...in the park, that stranger's dungeon? Is everything alright? Perhaps we could talk about how danger & humiliation have taken over as your normal.

How are you? Have you forgotten who you are? Can you recall where you started, what once was so important to you? Is this progress or have you lost yourself in losing yourself to the darkest side of your sexuality? Don't forget it is okay to be afraid, to stumble, to need ...someone ...love ...genuine friendship. You don't have to lose control to find yourself.

How are you? I can see you, even if you cannot see yourself. You are fine - alright. Hug yourself. Love yourself. Don't let them take you away, re-arrange, enslave you. You have a much HIGHER purpose.

SAFE WORD
IS:

'SELF'